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Family Marriage Couples Consultant Prof Dr Ekrem Çulfa



Family Marriage Couples Consultant Prof Dr Ekrem Çulfa


The first way to deal with stress is to identify possible sources of stress and identify them correctly. But this is often not as easy as it seems. Because the internal causes that may cause stress are not clear enough to be easily noticed.

For example, there are tasks that you need to train in your workplace and you realize that these are stressful for you. But your main source of stress may not be the jobs you are given, it may be a problem with your concern, procrastination or professional expectations.

That is why, if you want to identify the main source of your stress, you should first analyze your habits, your attitudes and the excuses you have made about your stressfulness. There are major questions you need to answer for this:

Could you delay your stress or cover up temporarily? For example, although you cannot remember when you felt peaceful last time, it is like inspiring yourself, "I have thousands of reasons to be happy."

Do you describe stress as part of your home and work life (Things are out of control here!) Or as part of your personality (I'm a little nervous, that's all!)?

Do you think your stress is environmentally sourced or do you think being stressed is completely normal and the environment cannot be an excuse?

You should admit that stress may also be caused by you so that the stress does not reach the size that will get out of control.


Keep a Stress Log to Find The Real Source of Stress


This method can help you identify the true source of your stress and find a way to deal with it. Whenever you feel stressed, sit down and write. Later, when you read what you wrote, you will see common themes and topics. This will allow you to find the root cause of stress or at least understand what makes you feel bad. While keeping a stress diary, try to focus on:


What caused stress? (If you're not sure, guess.)


How did this feel to me physically and emotionally?


How did I behave in response to stress, what kind of behavior did stress cause me?


What did I do to feel better?

Analyze How You Develop a Method to Combat Stress in Daily Life


The following strategies developed to combat stress temporarily reduce stress but cause major damage in the long run:

Smoking and drinking,

Too much or malnutrition,

Spending long hours on TV or computer,

Getting away from activities with family and friends,

Using uncontrolled medication to relax and reduce stress,

Sleeping too much,

Not to accept, deny or take seriously the problem,

Filling every minute of the day with the activity in order not to face the problem,

Reflecting your stress to others (scolding someone, reacting harshly or physical violence) etc ...


Discover Healthier Ways to Cope with Stress


If your current methods of dealing with stress do not improve your physical and emotional health in the long term, it is time to find a healthier method. There are many healthy ways to combat stress, but the common feature of all is that it requires change. This change may be environmental or you may need to make changes yourself.


There are four concepts to consider when deciding whether change should be in your environment or you: avoidance, replacement, adaptation and acceptance.


Although everyone uses ambient words to describe stress, the methods to deal with it differ for everyone. In addition, a strategy that works on one subject may not be effective for another subject or person. Stress-fighting requires very personal methods, so first focus on what makes you feel comfortable and peaceful.


If the change will be around,

If you will have the change,

'Avoiding' stress source

'Adapting' to the source of stress

'Changing' the source of stress

'Accepting' the source of stress



Techniques to Cope with Stress


Technique of Coping with Stress 1 - Avoid Unnecessary Stress.

It is impossible to avoid stress completely and it is not healthy to show a reflex avoiding anything that gives stress, but if you realize how many stressful causes you can eliminate, you can overcome it.


Learn to say "no". Notice your limits and stick to them. Do not take more responsibility than you can carry in your personal and academic life.

Avoid stressful negative people. If a person in your life permanently causes stress and you cannot change this course of your relationship, reduce the time you spend with that person or end your relationship completely.

Take control of your environment. Turn off the TV if the evening news is annoying. If traffic stresses you, find a longer but secluded route or hit the road at less traffic.


Avoid topics that are taboo for you. If talking about religion or politics strains you, remove them from your chat topics.

Simplify your to-do list. Analyze your daily schedule, duties and responsibilities. If you realize that you have a lot of work, divide them into two - essential and non-essential. Put the things to be done at the top of the list, take care of them first. Do others if your time and energy remain, or remove them entirely from the list.


Technique of Coping with Stress 2- Change the environmental condition that causes stress.


If you can't avoid stress, try changing it. Usually, this change includes your daily communication methods.

Try to explain the emotions you throw in you. If something is bothering you, express it clearly and respectfully. If you are discreet about your feelings, it will be impossible for the stressful situation or the person to change.

Be open to compromise. Be open to change when you ask someone to change their behavior. If you both volunteer for change, it will be easy to meet at a central point.

Be assertive. Take control of your life. If your roommate calls to chat the night after you have the exam the next day, tell him clearly that you can only take five minutes to chat.

Use your time properly. Not being able to organize time causes stress. When you have limited time to get things done, it becomes harder to stay calm and focused. Planning ahead and sticking to that plan will reduce stress.


Technique of Coping with Stress 3- Adapt to stress source.

If you cannot change the source of stress, change yourself. Adapt to the stressful situation by changing your attitude and expectations.


Look at your problems from another perspective. Be more optimistic to stressful situations. Instead of complaining about traffic, try seeing it as an opportunity to listen to your favorite song.

Look at the big picture. Evaluate the stressful situation in the long term. Will this still be a problem for me next month? Next year? Is it really worth it to feel sorry for this? If the answer is 'no', direct your time and energy to another area, stop thinking about the problem.

Reorganize your standards. Perfectionism is the main source of stress. Stop seeing yourself as a symbol of failure. Set logical standards for you and those around you. Learn to settle for 'good enough' rather than looking for 'perfect.'

Focus on the positive aspects. When stress starts to appear, stop for a second and focus on what you need to be grateful for. Think of the positive aspects you find as a gift.


Technique of Coping with Stress 4- Accept what you cannot change.


It is impossible to escape from everything that makes stress, falling in love, death, getting serious illness are some of them. The best thing to do in such cases is to accept such stressful situations. This may be difficult at first, but it is the most reliable way to prevent situations that we cannot change in the long run.


Do not try to control things that cannot be controlled. Many things in life develop beyond our control, including the emotions and behaviors of others. Instead of letting them stress you, focus on what you can control. For example, reactions to your emotions and behavior.

Share your feelings. Talk to a friend or therapist you trust.

Learn to forgive. Admit that we live in a world far from perfect and that everyone can make mistakes. Get rid of negative energy caused by anger and hatred and continue your life by forgiving.


Coping with Stress Technique 5 - Find fun and enjoyable activities to relax.


Dealing with the things you enjoy and include entertainment in your life. Although stress is inevitable, you will find that you can deal with it more easily. Remember, relaxation is not a luxury, it is a requirement.


Create time for yourself to relax. Take time to rest and relax in your daily schedule.

Communicate with your environment. Spend time with people who are optimistic, behave positively and lead a positive life that makes you feel good.

Do something fun every day. This could be playing the piano, cycling, or even watching the stars.

Never take humor out of your life. This includes being able to laugh at yourself when appropriate. Laughing is one of the most important methods of reducing stress. If stress is still a pain despite all these suggestions call us 05447243650.



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