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Family Marriage Couples Consultant Prof Dr Ekrem Çulfa
ekremculfa@gmail.com
WHAT IS YOUR PRIORITY IN YOUR RELATIONSHIPS? IS IT RIGHT? TO BE HAPPY?
10/07/2020 WHAT IS YOUR PRIORITY IN YOUR RELATIONSHIPS? IS IT RIGHT? TO BE HAPPY? We all know the damages of heart breaking in order to be right
in relationships. In this article, "Do you prefer to be right or happy in
relationships?" I mentioned the subject and gave information to be happy.
I have been doing family marriage couple therapy and relationship expertise for
many years and I have seen that people who communicate with unhealthy people go
to war of rights in unnecessary situations. Because, in unnecessary situations,
entering the war of rights affects relationships negatively. Everyone thinks
he's right from his point of view, and hearts are broken in the discussions.
Moreover, nobody understands what anyone wants and discussions are in vain. It should always be aim to be happy, not to be right in our
relationships. It is necessary to establish partnerships and find the middle
point. In a relationship that does not find the middle point, everyone says
"I". However, it is necessary to create “We” awareness. The
discussions are like an illusion, everyone believes that he is so right that he
does not care what the other person thinks and feels at that moment and can try
to hurt the other side with anger. For this reason, couples can establish sad
words and sentences. However, everyone sees his side and behaves according to
how and in what way events reflect to him in his own life. Now consider a
relationship, you are right, your partner is unfair. Think about what this
situation can bring you. Considering that you are always right, consider how far you
can take him away from your partner's emotional and physical needs. How did you
feel that you were always right? In the long term, did you think you can solve
your problems with this logic, just to be right? There are always problems in
relationships. Of course, you will have many problems in your togetherness, and
even in the variable flow of life, your problems will never end. Being in a "relationship" as a whole requires
problem solving skills. Couples argue. You may wish that you have the ability
to argue instead of a utopian situation, as well as your relationship may be
indisputable. The important thing is not to argue, the important thing is; how
to solve problems after discussions. If you do not talk to your partner about
your problems, expectations, ailments, escape from talking, get bored or ignore
everything, the relationship comes to the point of occlusion. Mutual wear
begins. The important thing is to create a very solid ground, to predict the
course of the relationship and find the balance. Those who anticipate the
course try to increase the motivation of the relationship. In this effort we
are saying what you see wrong for more solid ground. Always keep in mind that “perfect relationships are not
undisputed relationships, but known relationships how they can be resolved
after discussions”. It should be able to speak in the framework of respect and
love, at least the message "I understand you, I am sensitive to your
wishes, you are important" should be given. Everything does not have to be
solved, there are some problems that cannot be solved at all, but whatever the
anger, anger and the ego can dominate and not be ignored. People whose temper
and anger are victorious can lose their momentary emotions and consume their
lifetime happiness. This is why people get bored and bored and change
relationships. It is thought that there will be no discussion with the people
in their new association. It is thought that the new person will be more
accurate, that he will not experience the same problems, and that less
responsibility will be taken in relation to him. However, the emotional investments to be made in the current
relationship protect itself from the fact that it can constantly explain and
traumatize in different relationships. In this way of thinking, you will hear
the word “I am bored”. People who think this way also have difficulty in
focusing on a job in life. They think it is easier to choose the one that looks
like itself rather than invest in the existing one. However, a good
relationship is not found, a good relationship is created. It is established as
a good relationship maker, by establishing a balance, by understanding the
expectations with effective communication methods. If you come across this
balanced, constructive character, you are lucky. People in this consciousness
will gather you, your relationship no matter what the problem is. You realize
that the other person cares about you in a moment of discussion. Sometimes you
can unintentionally break his heart, but no matter what night you argue, if you
make it a habit to never sleep, you will have a strong relationship rather than
solving the problem itself. The prolongation of arrogance after the discussion, making
pride, not seeking or coming home creates insecurity in relationships. In the
next discussion, one cannot receive the message I am with you despite
everything. The relationship, which he feels is not strong, gives tension and
does not feel peaceful. Therefore, even if we argue, I should be able to say
that I am here. The relationships of the couples who achieve this will be long
lasting. Otherwise, the relationship will crack and end from the first
discussion. If you have someone you don't want to lose, be constructive.
Although it may seem easy to establish a relationship sometimes, it is not easy
to establish qualified relations. I try to teach this consciousness to people
as much as possible, I will continue to teach without knowing if there are
still those who do not know, how many marriages and how many relationships have
been saved for years, I don't know the number of survivors, but there is only
one thing that I know is that if anyone sees a war of rights before all other
values ends late ... That's why not be right, be happy ... That's why choose
not be right, be happy ... Stay in touch with us 05447243650 for any family, marriage,
couple and relationship problems. Stay healthy… Stay happy… Family, Marriage and Couples Consultant Prof. Dr. Ekrem
Çulfa |
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