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ARE YOU UNHAPPY ?
22/12/2021
ARE YOU UNHAPPY ?

There are two theories about happiness; The first says that happiness is of external origin. In other words, he says that if the conditions outside are suitable, a person can be happy. The other says that regardless of the external conditions, a person can be happy within himself. He says that every brick of the wall between us and happiness is actually built by oneself.

Do you really think so?
Can a person be happy only with his thoughts, only with the decisions he will make?
Is there anything we can do about being happy with both possibilities, either because of ourselves or because of external circumstances?
Is it possible to change?

It is possible to change. A person can truly transform into whoever they want. Is geography destiny? Let's not get into the subject here, of course there may be restrictions where we were born, but let's not forget that we are not trees either. It does not mean that we will stop where we are planted until it dries. We can change places, we can change our environment, our thoughts, our habits, our behavior and our course. So whatever our environment of unhappiness is right now, we can really change it. You may have heard of the methods of raising elephants in India. When elephants come to the world, they are tied to stakes with a chain from their feet while they are still tiny. Elephants struggle and try to get out of there, but their tiny bodies and tiny strength are not enough to break that stake and get rid of those chains. Years pass and baby elephants turn into giant adult elephants, of course they have the strength to overcome that stake and chain, but they won't even try. Because they believed that they could not change, that they could not be free. What elephants can no longer break is not chains but their beliefs. Science tells us: Every year, 98% of the atoms in the human body change. Every 5 years, all the atoms in our body change. My hand was made up of 98% different atoms last year. If everything changes completely, if the atoms in our body are completely renewed every 5 years, what makes us who we are? Metaphysics. Part of this is the thoughts and habits we have formed in the past. If we do not look at life so deeply, we will live a lifetime as if we are human. But what actually happens is to become an organism that continues the habits and trajectories of the past. We must not let our past become our destiny. If we realize that we are not programmed by the past, but programming the future, we will have realized the greatest revolution of our lives.

right human relations

We are social creatures and one of the dominant features in human nature is the desire to impose oneself on the other party. In other words, what the other party thinks and says is very important to us. However, our communication with people should be about information exchange, cooperation, kindness, beauty, good conversation, and having a good time. Pressure, tension, stress, comparison, backbiting, gossip, such things are chaos and chaos harms everyone. Every person in chaos becomes unhappy. Besides, if there's anything worse than being unhappy, it's making someone unhappy. A study by Stanford University on this subject is as follows; A person's life expectancy and life expectancy were very much related to the number of unhappy people around him. Actually, it makes a lot of sense because people are fed by society, their close friends. We can draw two conclusions from this article. First, let's not make anyone unhappy. Secondly, I think we will have taken a very good step in our lives when we stay away from people who try to communicate with us on the basis of unhappiness, that is, tension, stress, anxiety, comparison, quarrel, turning a business, and gossip. Instead of trying to keep up with people, we can learn to take the right steps on the life path we are walking on.

Get rid of the community average

One of the points we should not forget while trying to improve our lives and increase our happiness level is to get rid of social unhappiness. Cultures have some default settings. In other words, societies have certain rates of love, respect, anxiety, stress and respect for people. People in societies are similar to each other. Why is that? Because we think alike, go to similar places, watch similar things, make similar sentences, have similar goals. In which country you live now, the concerns in that country and the concerns in your private life are very close to each other. Only a very low percentage of people explore, discover their own life, get rid of external worries and start working and living for their own happiness. If everyone writes down the reasons that make them unhappy on a piece of paper, I'm sure this applies to everyone, some of which are not directly related to our lives. If we get rid of worrying about and dealing with things that are not directly related to our lives, maybe we will get rid of some of the things that bring our happiness level down. This seems like a simple decision, but I think it's a very brave decision.


 And from the things that don't concern us When we are apart, we will have more opportunities to solve the things that have a direct impact in our lives, to deal with them and to improve our lives in the remaining time and mental time. We can think like this; We went to a huge library to find a few books and there are millions of books in the library and we are experiencing the trouble, distress and stress of this. Let's be calm. There can be many problems in our life. There may be too many books in that library. What can we do? If we go to the front of the shelf we are interested in, we will at least minimize the problems we need to solve.

Go deep not to be impressed

You must have observed it when you went to the sea. In windy weather, that is, in choppy weather, especially the coastal parts of the seas become a little blurry. When you go 5-10 meters deep, you will see that the water of those depths is clearer. It seems to me that it is not the magnitude of the events we encounter, but our shallowness that causes our unhappiness. If we are silent for an inch, whoever blows it, we get sick. A simple word, a jealousy, a goal, a vote, a look, a title can turn our lives upside down. Isn't there something wrong with the oceans? Is the weather always nice there? No. And there are things that go wrong there. But a storm cannot stir an ocean. On its surface you can see waves, foams, lightning, violent storms, but the depths are always still and calm. In a storm, if we ask the ocean how it is going, it will say everything is fine. Because the surface of the oceans is not even 1% of the total ocean volume. I'm talking about deepening here. In other words, I am talking about looking at the problems we encounter in our lives not from the angles taught, but from the original, more real windows, to go deeper. In this article, we meet and do this to some extent. In fact, we're all after something more important, deep down. Following such content and articles is like training to deepen. In other words, it is as if the sources that feed the stone water replace rivers in the oceanic journey of a stone of water.

It is a hope, the person who keeps alive

This also applies to happiness. If you are aware, we often delay our happiness. Let's do this, let me do this, let this year come, it will be full, then we say that I will be happy and my life will be complete. Of course, we will improve our conditions, but if you are aware, those plans for which we wait for happiness are never completed. With each completed goal, we postpone happiness to the next goal. Let's do the opposite this time. Let's try to be happy on the journey to reach the goal, not when we reach the goals. So let's live with awareness. As the years progress, let it not only increase our age, but also increase our awareness.

It's up to you, not the terms.

A research result tells us that happiness has nothing to do with the living conditions we have as much as we think. Of course, will I be able to pay my monthly rent? Will I be able to make a living? It is the cause of unhappiness. If even a single person in a society goes to bed at night with a living problem, will I be able to pay my rent the next day? If he sleeps with his troubles, it is the shame of society. I'm not talking about this. What I am talking about here is that if we can meet our basic needs for shelter and food, and if we have a standard of living like the average person of the society, there is not much difference above this line. This research was done by the University of Illinois. It turns out that the happiness level of very rich people, that is, people who earn more than 10 million dollars a year, is not much different from the happiness level of their well-off employees. Now you will say that money came from somewhere, the lottery came out, won't that make me happy? Of course it will, but here the psychology of adapting very quickly to any environment comes into play. So this research tells us that. Short-term happiness is very related to incoming instant news and changing fast living conditions, but long-term happiness is not related to the conditions, but to the person himself.
You may have heard the term 'buyer's remorse' before. Sometimes we try to get over our momentary stresses or momentary unhappiness by taking shelter in something or owning something. That's why the things we buy in this psychology start to not work very soon. Exercises, readings, research, short trips, spending time with ourselves are the things we can find happiness without buying anything. Maybe we can try them. And instead of looking for happiness outside, we discover it within ourselves. Each of these are small steps, small ideas that can lead us to happiness. Every decision we make is for us, every decision is for people, and if we are a little more understanding, patient and kind to ourselves while realizing them, I think there is nothing we can't overcome and of course we should never give up the excitement of dreaming and realizing ourselves.

If you are having a problem with being happy, you can get professional support by calling +90544 724 36 50.


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